October 16, 2007

I have always been interested in understanding body language which is both difficult to read and control. You can say one thing and your body language will say another. Understanding body language can give you an advantage when you’re communicating with someone and you can let people know how you feel without saying anything.

A few examples of this would be –

  • Having your arms crossed on your chest: A sign of defensiveness.
  • Touching or rubbing your nose: Could be a sign of doubt or lying.
  • Biting your nails: Signs of insecurity and nervousness

Remember when trying to understand body language its key to pay attention to the individual but also to the surroundings. They could be rubbing their nose because it’s dusty or crossing their arms because they are cold.

Flirting

How many times have you been in a situation when you are talking to someone and you find them attractive but not sure if they feel the same way? Well when you start to notice their body language that’s the key and you will be amazed at all the signals you start to recognize. You can also use these signals to flirt with the person you’re talking to, if you want.

Here are a few to get you going –

  • Mirroring someone as you are talking to them is one method, e.g. if you’re both sitting done and the other person crosses their legs, do the same but not straight away give it 30 seconds or so. This is a fairly simple technique but try not to be too obvious otherwise they may think it is a little strange.
  • Check out where the feet and hands are pointing. We tend to point our feet, hands arms or toes to the person we are attracted to.
  • “Eyes are the window to the soul” - If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. So look into their eyes and check them out, but don’t get too close you don’t want to invade their personal space.

Remember don’t judge on one thing alone, you may need to look for three or four signals before jumping to any conclusions.

Interviews

Giving the right signals in an interview is very important, first impressions count.

Here are a few tips to help you –

  • The first body language signal an interviewer will read is the handshake. You are aiming for a dry firm handshake reflecting a strong personality. A limp and sweaty handshake will not get you high up on their list of hopefuls.
  • Try to maintain eye contact, but try not to stare. Focus on the interviewer’s eyes then mouth and then back on the eyes again.
  • Be attentive and nod in the right places.
  • When standing or sitting both should be erect and up, slouching does not reflect a positive attitude.
  • Do not fidget. Playing with your hair, picking you nails clicking a pen are all No’s.

If you pay attention to your body language and of course have the necessary skills for the job then you will increase your chances of success.

I hope you found that interesting. Thanks.

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